Living Better Today!
Good Day! Hope all is well and you are enjoying summer time. It has been nothing but hot here. This morning I was up early and for several hours it rained lightly and was much cooler. Would love to see that more but not expecting it any time soon.
It took me several weeks to get over covid. That process was frustrating and messed with my head a little. Hopefully I am on the backside and once again a little surprised how this impacted my life.
My brain tumor which started in November of 2020 has had a big impact on my life. I have been through 2 brain surgeries, 30 rounds of radiation and 13 rounds of chemotherapy. Finally finished the last round of chemo in April 2022. There were many times in that process I honestly questioned, “why am I doing this.” The process was frustrating, especially the 7-10 days of chemo process each month.
The frustration got better because I was still around and other parts of each month I was feeling pretty well. When this all started on November of 2020 I did not believe I would be around very long. This is a very aggressive brain cancer and the normal length of life is 6-18 months. The way this all started I never believed I would still be alive at this point.
This is where that Covid messed with my head a little. Natalie and I had done an amazing vacation to Long Island, Bahamas. It would have been amazing any time but with our current situation it was very special. We got back on Sunday, July 3rd. July 4th I was feeling great and got into that mindset, “I am going to be around for a while.” Tuesday I started going down hill and Wednesday I was feeling horrible, went to the Dr, had Covid got meds, a shot and for several days went downhill. That weekend was horrible.
That next week I had some of the worst mental thoughts I have ever had. The thoughts were so different than my brain tumor thoughts. I locked into, “I am about to die” and focused on that in a very different way. I could not figure out what was going on, but I did not like it.
Fast forward to this week and I feel like my brain and thoughts have finally come back. I have gotten back to this 58 year old who is dealing with brain cancer, but overall doing well and so grateful to still be around.
I have told myself for years and it helped me so much when this started, “focus on each day.” That is all we have. I grew up a guys who focused on the past way too much. Working through that for many years I began to realize the negative ways that effected me and started working on not living in the past. I tried to focus on “today.”
My counseling work helped me so much in that area. I began to see a common mindset with those who were focused on the past and often dealt with some depression. The ones who focused on the future often dealt with anxiety. I had to help people focus more on the present, today.
Jesus taught some very valuable ways to live life. The end of Matthew 6 Jesus talks about “worry.” He tells us not to worry about life, what we will eat or drink, what we will wear. It is a wonderful text. Jesus shares at the end of the text, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble on it’s own.”
That text covers many ideas. One that has been so helpful to me for years is this. Today can have challenges, take care of those today! What I have discovered is, if I focus and worry about my past or future those worries grow each day. A healthy focus on today helps me stay focused and take care of things that need to be taken care of today.
Having this terminal brain tumor that will shorten my life has helped me think more about my present time. I have today! During that Covid mess, ‘having today” disappeared. I am getting back to today and today is special and I am very grateful. I have no idea how many more days I have. Each day that is given I want to enjoy and appreciate life.
Can you relate to any of this. Life can kick our butts when we stay focused on yesterday or tomorrow. Today may have some challenges for you. Take care of today! It really does change your past and improve your future.
Remember that today,,,,,, “You are Loved and of Great Value.”